Broke my ass

So here I am, in the Emergency Department of our local hospital. (Local meaning at the end of my street.)

Oh my gosh, what happened? I broke my ass.

Wait what? Yes.

How? I was hit by a car while saving the lives of 4 kids, two puppies and a kitten.

Yeh, that was rediculous.

So I made that up. Sounded better then what happened.

So what happened you ask?

I broke my ass playing with my daughter.

Explain.

Nothing will ever sound good.

I was running around, having fun, chasing my daughter through the house. I tripped and fell into our couch. But instead of falling face forward, I turned and smashed my ass off the arm of the couch.

Not any part of my ass, right in the middle, plowing into my tailbone.

Did I mention the arm was wood? So literally took wood up my ass…or in my ass. I dont know. It sounds worse everytime I try to explain it.

So here we are, waiting to get my hiney looked at, possibly x-rayed.

How sexy…

Pray for me

Or my hiney.

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