I am not tech savvy.

So this blog will be what it is. I will try hard to write stuff down and keep it updates but you won’t have a clue if it’s recent or not unless I tell you. Fat chance that happens. My mind can be as scattered as a teenage boy’s bedroom. Yes, there’s clothes, dirty mixed with clean, that funky smell (it ain’t me) and stickiness (insert pukey noises). But really, what is life without the mess. That mess keeps your wheels turning and things to be interesting. So onto my first (really second) post.

I can remeber taking typing class years ago in catholic school. There was something called Logo who was a green turtle…who looked nothing like a turtle eventhough that old woman kept calling it one. That turtle was a green square blinking on a screen. LOGO MY ASS. I remember pushing certain keystrokes to make that green square move. That class sucked. Floppy disks. The smell of hot electronics. The hum of electricity surging through these futuristic machines. All dressed in our indistructable Flynn O’Hara uniforms, we typed away to get that turtle to move. To this day I still think that class was a waste of time. I did not buy into computers then and still struggle with them now.

Here’s why: HOW CAN YOU KEEP UP AND FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE DOING?

I say this becuase just when you think you’ve figured out what an Excel sheet does, or what those little formulas are that make Excel sheets easier, or what clip art is, or word processing, it’s obsolete.

Does anyone remeber that paperclip guy that hung out in the corner of the screen waiting to tell you about the proper format to writing a letter or changing the indentation. That little guy just wanted to be helpful and where is he now? He’s dead.

Ok, maybe not dead since he was never real but he’s not in any of today’s computers. And that’s because everything changes. So why would I buy into moving this little turtle around a screen or how to properly format a invoice or calculate a payroll when it’s going to be different by tomorrow. So there’s where technology and I broke up.

Then one day this game showed up and we were allowed to play it. A game?!?! In school?!?! In a Catholic school with real nuns that made you beat your own nuckles for fear of a lawsuit. What was that game?

The Oregon Trail.

What a game! Between decision making and graphics that amazed, i mean look at that highly pixilated covered wagon, people and animals! That sophisticated black screen with green tinting was mesmerizing.

But then as with all technology The Oregon Trail was fazed out and some new game took it’s temporary place entertaining American youth everywhere.

That game had something. It was new and fun and you felt in controlled until after sometime you realized dysentery killed everyone. You may have traveled hundreds of miles, survived famine, harsh storms, but that didn’t matter because somehow, someway, YOU GOT DYSENTERY and died. Game over.

And I digress.

I never bought into technology. I never found an interest and I know you’re reading this thinking girl with this unbelievably amazing blog full of graphics and fonts… she must really have a knack with computers but no. Sarcasm too much?

Alas, I cannot even figure out how to change the wifi password at my house to something more easy that the 14ish digit alphanumeric nightmare required to connect. Yep, I’m the one who must go sort through the junk drawer to find that little orange post-it so I can try and decipher my own handwriting of o’s or zeroes so I can connect to the internet.

Technology is constantly changing. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes to just fuck with me i think. They say progress is a good thing but technology and I, we ain’t friends and never will be.